Not Many People Know This...

But my idol is Demi Lovato. I know she's been known for her comedic and jovial roles in Camp Rock and Sonny With a Chance, but on the inside, she's been a wreck. Demi's outgoing personality on camera could not protect her from the detrimental effects of child bullying. When Demi asked why all of the kids at school bullied her, they would just respond by saying, "Well, you're fat". A few months after the bullying persisted, Demi developed Bulimia, which continued throughout her childhood. Bulimia is an eating disorder in which a person purges themselves after meals in order to "lose the food/fat" that they had just ate. Even after psychological help, Demi started self-mutilating (or "cutting") herself at the young age of 11. She felt that it was "a way of expressing [her] own shame of [herself] on [her] own body". Sometimes, the emotions built up to a point where she "didn't know what to do. The only way [she] could get instant gratification was through an immediate release on [herself]". Hearing her words to describe her thoughts at the age of 11 is very frightening. People should not have to feel this way, especially at such a young age. After being cast as the female role in Camp Rock, people paid more attention to her. It wasn't long until a photo of Demi's cut wrists circulated throughout the media. She was terrified. She felt as if the world "saw her inner most darkest secret". After this incident occurred, she became more sneaky and continued to self-mutilate herself in places that nobody else could see it. Throughout the next few years or so, Demi's life appeared perfect. She starred in her own television show, Sonny With a Chance, and the sequel,Camp Rock 2, was the most viewed cable movie in 2010. Her albums shot to the first place spots on the Billboards, and she started dating Joe Jonas. Throughout all of this, her cutting intensified. During the tour Joe Jonas and her were both on, their relationship ended, but their love duet on stage didn't. Finally, there was a turning point. Years of self abuse could no longer be ignored. Demi was losing her voice to purging and she had gotten to a point whereshe was so emotionally unstable, that she physically punched one of her dancers. After the incident occurred, she felt sick to her stomach. Her family members sat her down to an intervention and she was admitted to a rehabilitation center for treatment. After three months of intense therapy, she had been diagnosed herwith having bipolar disorder. Even now, she is shocked, yet understanding to the outcome of years of self abuse and self mutilation. Starting from age 7, Demi has had suicidal thoughts, which led up to manic and depressive episodes. In one of her recent interviews, she says that she's "thankful now that she's feeling", that and she doesn't push her feelings aside like before. Now, the cuts on her wrists have healed, and healing words now cover them. Demi had gotten the mantra, "Stay Strong" written across her wrists to remind herself to stay strong.

Throughout her early Disney stages, I hadn't really been a Demi Lovato fan. Now, after being secret addicted to her empowering songs throughout the past year or so, and after reading this, I've become one of her strong supporters. I cried while reading Demi Lovato's tragic childhood story. Even though I don't know her personally, I feel some sort of strong connection to her, ask if she and I have both had to deal with mental issues concerning Depression and eating disorders. I feel as if I can relate to her depressive feelings. It feels as if you're all alone, and that you'll never be good enough for the world. Ever since, I have felt as if there is hope for me, and even though it might seem like hell right now, that I'll get through it some day. Even now, I look at my own wrists and see the imaginary engraved words, Stay Strong. It helps me remember that even though it may feel as if the "walls come crashing down", all I need to do is stay strong until the storm passes.