Quality Project Cooking Blog! *VISIT*

So, my quality project blog is up.  You can either click the link in the previous sentence, or visit
http://cookinginthekitchenwithkylie.blogspot.com/.  Either way, check it out! :D

A Post About My Quality Project

Hey guys, good news....

I finally found out what I'm doing for my quality project! *Excessive and loud clapping and cheering for the girl who spent hours trying to come up with a good proposal idea*

After having the idea of a bake sale in the quad shot down by the deans (they didn't allow anyone except for school-approved clubs and AUW run bake sales in the quad), I spent days trying to come up with another idea. After much consideration and ponderation, I have decided to make my quality project on cooking.

For my project, I will be cooking dinner/meals at least seven times throughout the next two-three weeks. I will be keeping another blog (not like two is enough) about my project. Each entry will include pictures of each step of the cooking process. At the end, I will include a picture of the finished product. At the end of the entry, I will add the recipe and a list of techniques and skills I have learned from cooking that meal. I will then write a paper about reasons to why cooking is important and should be learned in each household. The significance of this project is to acquire a competent skill in cooking while learning why learning how to cook is important. One of the dinners I will be cooking is the dish you see in my sidebar (yes, I still didn't cook it even though I said I was two weeks ago). The link of my quality project blog will be posted shortly (or just added to this post).

Mockingjay *FINISHED*

So, I just kind of finished Mockingjay, the third book in the Hunger Game series. I don't really know what to say or how to respond... other than CHORD OVERSTREET SHOULD STILL PLAY PEETA MELLARK INSTEAD OF JOSH HUTCHERSON.

Mockingjay lacked that "familiar" vibe you got from both The Hunger Games and Catching Fire. In the first two books, Katniss (KATPISS SADKFJ ALSKDFJAD) had a home to go to. She had her mother, Prim, Gale, Peeta, Cinna, Madge, and everyone else who might have been special to her. In this book, all of that changes. Cinna, we learn, had died while being harshly beaten by the Capitol. Madge had died during the District 12 bombing, and Prim was killed during President Coin's planned children-murder scheme that just didn't make sense. Other important people that were killed include Finnick (decapitated by the lizard/human mutations), Boggs (excessive bleeding due to bomb in Capitol), and many, many, many others. The first 80 pages of the book are slow. In summary, Katniss, Gale, Prim, the Mother, and thousands of other of people that aren't Peeta live in District 13. Oh wait, did I tell you? Peeta was being held by the Capitol for most of the book. When they finally got him back, he was brain washed. In other words, he wanted to kill Katniss and was at high risk of losing every loving memory they've had together. Ugh. That reminded me of some stupid, twisted, cliche'd Korean Drama. Overall, I thought the book was very good. I don't know how else to describe it. It's not like it was THE BEST BOOK I HAVE EVER READ, but nor was it THE WORST BOOK EVER. It was just way better than I expected it to be. On a scale from 1-10 (1 being some really bad book [can't think of any] and 10 being Hunger Games [of course]), I would rate it a 6. Honestly, I felt like it was a huge waste of a story. The whole idea of the hunger games, Panem, and the Capitol is genius. Suzanne Collins could've constructed such a better ending to the series than the ending to Mockingjay. I mean, Mockingjay had a very captivating storyline (although I feel like it could've been better), but to end the series like that just disappointed me... BIG TIME. After I finished the book, I literally threw it on my bedroom floor, got out of my chair, and cooled down by watching Spongebob. I was pretty mad.

Another thing that I've been annoyed about for the past few hours was how depressing Mockingjay was. I mean, everyone dies. That's kind of the story. Meet a new character. BAM. Dead. Meet a nice person. BAM. Dead. Meet one of the best friends you ever had. BAM. Dead. You take your sister's place in the Hunger Games so that she doesn't die and she can live a full life because she's one of the most amazing and understanding people of your life. BAM. Your sister's dead.

Hey, sorry if you didn't read the series yet because I just sort of ruined it for you.

P.S. If you're mad at me for spoiling the whole series for you, another thing you should know is that Peetah and a mentally insane Katniss get married and have children. Oh yeah, and Gale practically ditches her, gets a nice job in District 2, and forgets about her.

Not Many People Know This...

But my idol is Demi Lovato. I know she's been known for her comedic and jovial roles in Camp Rock and Sonny With a Chance, but on the inside, she's been a wreck. Demi's outgoing personality on camera could not protect her from the detrimental effects of child bullying. When Demi asked why all of the kids at school bullied her, they would just respond by saying, "Well, you're fat". A few months after the bullying persisted, Demi developed Bulimia, which continued throughout her childhood. Bulimia is an eating disorder in which a person purges themselves after meals in order to "lose the food/fat" that they had just ate. Even after psychological help, Demi started self-mutilating (or "cutting") herself at the young age of 11. She felt that it was "a way of expressing [her] own shame of [herself] on [her] own body". Sometimes, the emotions built up to a point where she "didn't know what to do. The only way [she] could get instant gratification was through an immediate release on [herself]". Hearing her words to describe her thoughts at the age of 11 is very frightening. People should not have to feel this way, especially at such a young age. After being cast as the female role in Camp Rock, people paid more attention to her. It wasn't long until a photo of Demi's cut wrists circulated throughout the media. She was terrified. She felt as if the world "saw her inner most darkest secret". After this incident occurred, she became more sneaky and continued to self-mutilate herself in places that nobody else could see it. Throughout the next few years or so, Demi's life appeared perfect. She starred in her own television show, Sonny With a Chance, and the sequel,Camp Rock 2, was the most viewed cable movie in 2010. Her albums shot to the first place spots on the Billboards, and she started dating Joe Jonas. Throughout all of this, her cutting intensified. During the tour Joe Jonas and her were both on, their relationship ended, but their love duet on stage didn't. Finally, there was a turning point. Years of self abuse could no longer be ignored. Demi was losing her voice to purging and she had gotten to a point whereshe was so emotionally unstable, that she physically punched one of her dancers. After the incident occurred, she felt sick to her stomach. Her family members sat her down to an intervention and she was admitted to a rehabilitation center for treatment. After three months of intense therapy, she had been diagnosed herwith having bipolar disorder. Even now, she is shocked, yet understanding to the outcome of years of self abuse and self mutilation. Starting from age 7, Demi has had suicidal thoughts, which led up to manic and depressive episodes. In one of her recent interviews, she says that she's "thankful now that she's feeling", that and she doesn't push her feelings aside like before. Now, the cuts on her wrists have healed, and healing words now cover them. Demi had gotten the mantra, "Stay Strong" written across her wrists to remind herself to stay strong.

Throughout her early Disney stages, I hadn't really been a Demi Lovato fan. Now, after being secret addicted to her empowering songs throughout the past year or so, and after reading this, I've become one of her strong supporters. I cried while reading Demi Lovato's tragic childhood story. Even though I don't know her personally, I feel some sort of strong connection to her, ask if she and I have both had to deal with mental issues concerning Depression and eating disorders. I feel as if I can relate to her depressive feelings. It feels as if you're all alone, and that you'll never be good enough for the world. Ever since, I have felt as if there is hope for me, and even though it might seem like hell right now, that I'll get through it some day. Even now, I look at my own wrists and see the imaginary engraved words, Stay Strong. It helps me remember that even though it may feel as if the "walls come crashing down", all I need to do is stay strong until the storm passes.

Nails Nails Nails!

I don't think I've told you this, considering we've know each other for a short amount of time. But, I love painting my nails. I started the beginning of last summer before summer school started. Ever since then, I haven't stepped out of this apartment with naked nails. It sounds kind of lame, but I get a giddy feeling every time I buy new nail polish. I get a joy out of combining different nail polish colors and creating some sort of intricate design out of it.

So Today Is...

Two Things...
1) The Day Where People Draw Hearts on Their Wrists to Recognize People With Depression*
2) The Perfect Day According to Ms. Rhode Island on Miss Congeniality **

* People shouldn't just draw hearts on their wrists to raise depression awareness. They should actually do something about it. There are at least 100 people you pass everyday. Chances are more than 10 of them are battling depression. Depression is not just some common disorder that attention whores use to call attention to themselves. It's a disorder that means that the person with Depression needs help. The scary thing is... you never know who it is. He/she could be laughing, smiling, emotionless, crying, anything. The only way you'll ever know is if they are brave enough to come out and tell you about it. One thing you can do to help is open your heart and mind to everyone. Don't push people away when they're calling for help. Don't judge anyone, because the truth is, you have no idea what they have gone through. You have no idea what they think, what they do, what they've gone through, what their life is like, and how they've lived it so far. So please, next time you're about to judge someone, think about how you'd feel if you were the one in their shoes.

** I love Miss Congeniality.

I Should Talk About My Easter (Part I)

First of all, by Easter, I mean Saturday, because that's when I do easter stuff (no, not go to church worship Jesus), but stuff like egg hunting. On Saturday, my mom and I went to see Andy South, Casanova, Christopher Collins, Michael Drummond, and Mondo's fashion shows at Ala Moana. I kind of died when I got to see their designs. I took pictures of a few designs (I was being really anal about saving battery life for my picture with Mondo). Here they are... (if you're interested)...

CASANOVA:

CHRISTOPHER COLLINS:

MICHAEL DRUMMOND:

MONDO:

During the fashion show, two models tripped while on the runway. For the first model that tripped, her shoe came off, but she just slipped off her other shoe and continued on. For the second model that tripped, one of her amazingly high shoes fell off and she stopped to put it back on.

Oh, and if you didn't see the first picture, I got to meet Mondo Guerra (the real winner of Project Runway Season 8).

I Should Talk About My Easter (Part II)

After meeting Mondo and the rest of the Project Runway, I ended up going home and talking to Nick, Kim, and Toby on the phone. Toby and I ended up video chatting until I had to leave for my cousins' house. I drove halfway to my cousins' house(because my parents didn't allow me to drive on the freeway). At 6:30-ish, my family had dinner. There was steak, spring rolls, somen, cake noodles, crispy gow gee mein, rice, kalbi chicken, and a lot more. In other words, it was a really random, but really delicious dinner. After dinner, Bryce, Jaycie, Landon (my three cousins), and I collected as many as eggs as we could from the yard. In each egg, there was a piece of paper. On each piece of paper, there was a value written on it. For example, you could either get a 0 pt egg, 1 pt egg, 5 pt egg, or 10 pt egg. After totaling the value of all of our eggs, I ended up getting the most points (428 pts). After this,we use our poiints to bid in an auction for prizes. The twist on this is that you can't see the prize. The only thing you are given is a clue to what the prize may be. For example, the clue "For the Baby x3 Fan" was for the Justin Bieber stickers I had won. After all this was over (it is now 9:30 ish), my cousins and I played Castle Crashers on the XBox 360 (Our tradition). My parents and I eventually got home at 11 p.m.

**Sorry if that was a boring entry. I just had to say something about my Easter.*

Catching Fire Appreciation Post

So, I kind of finished Catching Fire last night (technically this morning) at 1 a.m. The first part of the book isn't as great, but the second part OMGOMGOGMOGMG. I officially fell in love with Peetah (Not like I wasn't in love with him before). He is such a great person. I mean he has such a great way with words. I don't understand why Katniss (still known to me as Cat Piss), woul choose Gale over Peetah. I mean, Gale might be "handsome" and "strong" or whatever, but it's just hard to choose a character you don't know so well over a character who the author has made you know and love. OKAY SORRY, I'm doing obsessing over some fictional character that doesn't exist.

My Book List

OKAY ONE MORE POST THEN I'LL START MY HOMEWORK? DEAL? DEAL.
I can't just believe I made a deal with myself, that has got to be the weirdest thing I've done in the past minute or two.

Anyway, here's my book list (a.k.a. the books I want to read)....

- Catching Fire (the sequel to The Hunger Games)

- The Uglies

- Maze Runner (since we're venturing into that science fiction theme now...)<

- Handle With Care

- The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

-Labor day

-The Sweet By and By

Woww, this list is made up of really random books.
BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO SEARCH FOR THE HUNGER GAMES SEQUEL.
I HAVE HANDLE WITH CARE AND THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO ON MY DESK READY TO GO

WOW THREE POSTS IN ONE NIGHT?

DID I DIE AND GO TO HEAVEN?
No, I just had a good day. Don't expect the same tomorrow.

Wait, I'm going to use this space to remind myself that I want to make a Baking/Cooking Post soon.
EXPECT UPCOMING POSTS ABOUT MY FUTURE RECIPES. :DD

HUNGER GAMES APPRECIATION POST

Okay, maybe around 24 hours ago, I started to read this book after a long wait. I borrowed it from the library on Monday, but didn't have time to open it until Tuesday night. So, I started to read, and the higher the page numbers, the more interesting this book got, and the later I stayed up. Before I knew it, it was 11:30 and I was half way through the book. I couldn't help it, it was so damn interesting. I don't know what I liked about it. Maybe it was the sci-fi eerie theme about it that seemed to appear throughout the book. I mean who wouldn't want to read a book about a weird society that likes to watch kids die on a reality show? In addition, this reality show has crazy stuff like mutated people-wolves, hovercrafts, and so much more.

Of course, there's that part of the book dedicated to the romance between the two protagonists, Katniss and Peeta. HAHA Everytime I say her name, Katniss, I think of Cat Piss. It just ruins the character. Cat Piss. Hahaha.

Anyways, I woke up at 7 a.m. and read until 9:30 (Just because ICP started). To my luck, ICP was cancelled, so I resided to the library, where I read until 10:30 (because I had to go to Assembly). I read throughout assembly. I eventually had to put the book down and go to the cafeteria with my friends. Once we were sitting down again, the book flew open to the 50 pages I had left. Fortunately, ICP Large was cancelled to (Due to Ron's absence), and I returned to the library to finish the last pages of the book. I had read the entire book by 12:30 p.m. I sound obsessed, I know. And that's because I am. I'm obsessed, and it's kind of unhealthy. I checked in the book and continued on my search for the sequel, Catching Fire. But of course, every copy that the library held was checked out. :'(

Thank goodness I didn't see the trailer for the movie. Actually, I don't think they even have a trailer for this movie. But if they did, I didn't even try to find it. I don't WANT to try to find it. The thing is, I like to imagine my own characters and setting. Seeing someone else's perspective and interpretation of a book before reading it alters your own, so instead of coming up with your own imagery, you adopt their portrayal of the book, and it kind of just ruins it. While reading the book, I just imagined Catpiss. Oh.. wait. That awkward moment when you just mistakened the protagonist's name for the bodily function of a cat. Let's try this again...

While reading the book, I just imagined Katniss (you can't blame me!) as being a pretty brunette. I imagined her as one of those girls that aren't thought of as pretty, but once you get to know her and see the real her, she's absolutely beautiful. To me, her personality seemed a bit familiar. In other words, I feel like many other books' female protagonist personality strongly resembled Katniss's personality.

For Peetah, however, I thought of him as that guy from Glee. You know, the blonde, trouty-mouth, Justin Bieber wanna-be, Macaulay Culkin look-a-like, Chord Overstreet. Now, don't get me wrong, I have nothing against him, but he's what I imagined to be Peetah. I don't know why, but the more I became attracted to the charming Peetah, the more I started to like Chord Overstreet.

...Okay, I imagined him to be more like the first picture, but I just wanted to the second picture in there just because I thought if was kind of really super attractive...

Darn Peetah, making me attracted to Chord Overstreet.

I don't know if any of you have read this book, but if you didn't... get the hell off your lazy butt, get yourself to a nearby (OR FARAWAY, WHICHEVER YOU PREFER) bookstore, bookshop, library, book sale, whatever and find yourself this book and read it. Trust me, this will be the best decision you have ever made.

Water For Elephants Appreciation Post

I know, I know, it seems as if I am going through some sort of "book phase". I guess I am, well not really. I've been wanting to read for a few months now, but I never had the time. I finishedWater For Elephants during Spring Break, and let me tell you, it was a pretty darn good book.

I guess it was kind of ruined for me since I saw the trailer first. Once I saw Robert Pattison as Jacob and Reece Witherspoon as Marlena, BOOM, those were the two people I imagined throughout the whole book. So word of advice, don't watch the trailer before you read the book. Actually, maybe I just kind of ruined it for you since I said who was playing who. Oh god, sorry, hahaha.

Anyways, I don't recommend this book for immature little kids who "EWW" whenever someone says the word, "sex", because this book has quite a few sex scenes. BUT NONETHELESS, it is not unnecessary. Actually it's completely necessary. It does nothing but develop each of the characters involved.

Sorry if I jump around throughout this post, but I think Reese Witherspoon is absolutelyperfect for the role of Marlena. She's flawless, elegant, innocent, light, and beautiful. I sound a little homo, but I just love Reese Witherspoon. This sounds kind of weird, but one of the reasons why I loved Marlena was because I imagined her as Reese Witherspoon. I mean seriously, look at her.

Haha okay, I'm going a bit overboard here. But all in all, she's a great actress that does amazing work.

Reading this book made me feel a bit more mature for some reason. I don't know why. Maybe it was the slightly challenging vocabulary. Maybe it was the mature themes. Maybe it was the complicated imagery. Im'm not sure. But I definitely liked it.

This was not meant to be the most well written review on the book. It was supposed to be a post to get my thoughts out about the book. Kind of like a "closure" post, haha. But in conclusion, you guys should all read this book. It's kind of awesome.

Good Day Considering I Talked To These Two People...

The person in the first two pictures is Toby. Well, his name's not really Toby, it's Shayne. The first picture you see is the summer that we first met. He was the Teacher's Assistant for my English Summer class during the year of 2008. At the time, he was a sophomore becoming a junior, and I was a seventh grader going into the eight grade. It's kind of weird to think about, considering that I'm now the sophomore ready to become a junior and that he will be the Teacher Assistant for my Physics Honors class during the summer even though he's a freshman becoming a sophomore in college. Haha, it's kind of funny how that works out.

Anyway, the whole summer was a blast. I adopted his new name from a Stanley Steamer commercial that features a golden retriever, Toby, that scoots on the carpet. After further investigation to why the dog did this, it turns out that dogs "scoot" (a.k.a. drag their butts across the floor) because their anal sacs are disturbed. ... You didn't really need to know that. But that was just the main inside joke of my entire summer, haha. ANYWAYS, my friend, Taryn, and I thought of Toby as a nerd, considering he was really smart and was always on top of things. We liked to joke around with him. The whole summer was just a blast. It was around three years ago. Unfortunately, I can't remember it very clearly.

When I became a freshman, Toby and I woud occasionally see each other and talk to each other. He would always tell me that I was the most spaztic and happy person he's ever met. That truly meant a lot. But by the end of freshman year, he admitted that I had "calmed down" a lot since when he first met me. Throughout the second semester of my sophomore, we called each other on the phone. Since we've been talking more frequently recently, he knows about my endoscopy and stomach related issues. Today, I told him a summary of my past and what I was going through now. It's weird. I feel like I could just trust him and he would give me really good advice. When I told him about my depression, he was completely and utterly shocked. I guess I would be to if I found out the happiest and most energetic person I knew had been diagnosed with depression. He told me he had a lot of respect for me, which really meant a lot to me. A freshman in Tufts University had respect for me, a sophomore in high school. I guess I could say the same about him, considering he's very intelligent and mature. I guess you could say that I have an easy time talking to Toby. I know this description of our friendship took a while to explain. I guess I can't help it, considering we got three years back.

**The first picture was taken July 2008. The second picture was taken October 2009.

Speaking of people I greatly admire, the picture you see below is of Keala Morrell and me. I know I just met her in February this year. She was my camp team leader and also one of the people I look up to the most. She's such an outgoing and kind person. Getting to know her at camp has been such a privilege, considering she's one of the strongest people I know. She's had her rough times, and I've had mine. Even now, I can talk to her about anything and she'd just help me feel 100000x better (in other words, talking to her makes my day). It's a shame, really. It's a shame that I just met her when she's about to leave for college (SHE GOT INTO BROWN! :D). That's the thing about camp. You'll meet all these amazing people, but those people will most likely be seniors that you'll have to say bye to in a few months. Just thinking about it brings me down a little. BUT I know her stunning and beautiful personality will bring her far in life. I mean, look how far she's already come.

Oreo Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies

So I'm pretty excited about this considering I posted it on my fb, tumblr, and here (well of course I posted it on here)...

** and I barely do anything on facebook

This is for my ICP class tomorrrow. It was kind of love at first bite..

About My Headline Pictures

A couple of you have asked who the other girl in those three pictures are. The beautiful girl in those three pictures is my friend, Jaime. She's one of my best friends and no matter what happens, I know she will always be there for me (and vice versa). I know that sounds so cliché, but it's nothing but the truth. I don't know if she reads this blog (I actually don't know who can read this blog), but if you are reading this (and I know I've told you this before), but you're truly a beautiful person and one of the most amazing people I have ever met.

Now I'm guessing people will ask who the girl on the right is. That, my friends, is Kim. She too is an spectacular girl with an indescribable personality. Her intentions are always true and she always brings a positive vibe to any room she walks in. Her and Jaime are one of the best two friends you could ever ask for, and I really really really hope they know that.

Loooonnnngggggg (but fun) Weekend

So the AIDS Walk Volunteering thing went really well. Selena and I ran into Koji and Peyton. We ended up filling up goody bags and making ribbons for four hours. On top of the bad ribbons and the uneven ribbon cutting, the lunch was pretty good. I'm a sucker for local Hawaii foods (you know, the kind you would take to the beach? or the kind you would eat as a plate lunch?), and for lunch, they had barbeque chicken, mandoo, long rice, fish jun, rice, you know, all that good stuff... haha.

Anyways, after, my mom and I rushed to Ala Moana to get Caitie's birthday present. I met up with Maiya and Grace, but couldn't shop with them (I had no money, so my mom had to charge it). I ended up getting her the book, "Handle With Care" By Jodi Picoult from Barnes and Nobles, a very cute dog bookmark, and two Godiva chocolate rectangle bars (mmmmm). Damn, I gave her a good present hahahaha. My mom and I liked her present so much, we bought some Godiva chocolate and ended up getting the same book so we could read it ourselves (hahaha).

As soon as I got home at 4:15, I had to get ready to meet everyone at Punahou so Caitie's mom could drive us. I met with Maiya, Grace, Nick, Caitie, and Emily at 5:15 and drove to Caitie's house. Matt, Hallie, and Buster met up with us later. Caitie's party ended up being really fun. I'm very happy I was able to go. Don't think I'm surprised it was fun or something, I'm just saying that I'm very pleased about how much I really had. We tried pretzels, cookies, candies, everything in her chocolate fountain, ate spaghetti and croissants for dinner, watched Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, opened presents, sang karaoke, played Apples to Apples, and challenged each other in a game of Scattergories (which was surprisingly hilariously fun). It turns out, everybody got Caitie books... LOLOLOLLLLL (lucky girl). By the time we went to sleep (or should I say, by the time Maiya, Caitie, Emily, Hallie, and I went to sleep), it was 3:30 a.m. The only reason we didn't stay up later was because we didn't want to be tired on Sunday (not because we were tired).

We woke up around 8 a.m. ish and ate spam, portugese sausage, croissants, rice, toaster strudels, etcs, for breakfast (mmmm). After, we kinda just did anything. Matt, Maiya, and Hallie left at 9, so the rest of us played around on Sims for a while. After, we helped Emily with her Sustainability Fair setup while playing Caitie's Wii upstairs. My parents picked Nick and I up at 12:30 and we went to Waikele Subway for lunch. After, we went to Borders in attempt to look for the many books I was interested in reading. I fell asleep on the ride back to town. We eventually dropped Nick off at his house at 2:30 p.m.. My parents and I tried to look for the books I wanted at Kaimuki Library (but of course, they didn't have it :/). Instead, I signed up to be a volunteer there and got dropped off at my apartment while my parents ran a couple of errands (errands that included getting groceries, my ingredients for these cookies I'm baking tonight, and HANDLE WITH CARE BY JODI FOSTER HAHA). Yeah, you heard me. My mom and I really wanted to read the book so we eventually bought it from Borders. :)

So here I am, just sitting in my room on a Sunday night at 6:54 pm waiting for dinner to be ready. Tonight, we're eating salmon with miso soup, rice, and this tofu dipped in garlic shoyu sauce (OMG FOODGASMa SKDJF AKLSJDF ALKSJDF ) . Sorry, I go a bit crazy for salmon... and rice...

But anyway, I really had a good time this weekend. I don't know how much to go into depth with my blog considering people from my school apparently found it (my fail in a futile attempt to change my tumblr url and picture and theme and shit). But, I have to say, I miss Caitie as a close friend. Of course we are still friends, but not like how we used to be before. In 7th grade, we were like best friends. I actually called her every day during the summer and we would talk from 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. It was kind of crazy haha. But the thing about her is that she understands the kind of stuff a lot of other people wouldn't understand. She listens to you and is always there for you. She's fun, but she's responsible. The thing that I really like about her is that she's not normal. I mean not normal as in weird vs. normal. I mean, she's had to deal with different obstacles and setbacks in her life. But thankfully, it's only made her a stronger and better person today. Of course I love all of my friends, but a lot of them don't lead interesting lives. In other words, most of them have had pretty great lives (not saying mines wasn't great because I'm very fortunate), but I mean, they're pretty normal. I would love to have someone I could just talk to and they would, you know, understand how I feel because they've been through something like it before...

Another thing I realized this weekend is that I kind of think reading is interesting. Haha, not like I frowned upon it before, but it's just that I have taken a very great interest in it lately. As of now, I have a list of books that I need to buy from Barnes and Nobles/Borders.

Everyone at the party was awesome. No joke, no lie, nothing false about that sentence at all. I enjoyed everyone's presence at that party. I love Hallie's fun and outgoing attitude. She may be in 9th grade and she may be tiny just like me, but she's as loud as life, and I really admire that. I find Grace so interesting. She's just so different from any person I've ever met (nothing to do with the fact that she has blue hair or anything). But, she's just so unique. It'd be cool to get to know more about her. Maiya is just so awesome hahaha. I've always thought Maiya was one of the most coolest and just a downright amazing person. She's well rounded. She's smart, outgoing, athletic, volunteering, nice, and not to mention very pretty. I love having her as a friend. Matt is just matt. He's like some sort of Asian Local Surfing Guy who (thankgoodness) was not raised in China. He's so chill and cool. I don't really know how to describe him, other than that he's related to Hallie and they're just both awesome. Buster is pretty awesome too. I didn't know him that well (and I still don't), but he was really fun at the party. Our paths have crossed many times throughout middle school and high school, and I think it'd be really awesome to get to know him. Emily is just, she's just so like... mature. AND THATS NOT A BAD THING. It's kind of awesome haha. I've always wanted to be Emily's friend. Why? Because she's polite, nice, and very friendly. She's a vegan (HOW DOES SHE DO IT?!) and a gold member Starbuck's customer. She goes to cafes to study (which I love doing) and she just seems like someone you could just have a lot of fun with. I'm really happy I got to befriend her this year.

Sorry, I went kind of overboard with the whole OMG MOST AMAZING WEEKEND EVER thing, but it's just that, things haven't been good lately and that was just what I needed to pick me up again. The days before the weekend were probably the toughest I've had to go through in 2011, and going back to school after the endoscopy was unsurprisingly tough. I admit it, I cried a few times throughout the day because everything was just too overwhelming. I didn't know what I was doing anymore, I didn't really understand what was so great about life, and why I should have the privilege to live it. But after the weekend, I just feel so refreshed and recharged... I felt as if it was the first time I hadn't faked a smile the whole week.

OMG I HOPE I DIDNT SOUND LIKE SOME SORT OF DRAMA QUEEN THER CUZ THATS NOT HOW I MEANT TO COME OFF.

Weekend Plans (?)

I probably should rest the whole weekend and focus on recovery. My body still feels weak and tired... But of course, I have to do stuff anyway...

From 10a.m. - 2p.m., I'm volunteering at the AIDS Walk Prep (for tomorrow's AIDS Walk which I cannot attend). I'm pretty excited... Is that lame? To get excited for volunteering? Oh well, anyway...

After, I gotta rush to Ala Moana to buy Caitie's birthday present and card... (I'm a constant procrastinator). After, I gotta go to Punahou, where Caitie's mom will drive a bunch of us to Caitie's house for her party. It's kind of an overnight/sleepover/water balloon party....

I still don't understand why I always crowd my schedule, but one of these weekends, I'm going to have a nice, relaxing, and laid back weekend.

Why Do I Love This So Much?

Project Runway Idols Coming on the Night of My Guitar Concert...

So the one night I absolutely cannot do anything is the night my idols (MONDO GUERRA AND ANDY SOUTH) are coming to the mall to meet fans.

This might be the only time I hate guitar.

And The Pain Keeps On Going...

Even though the endoscopy was a day ago, my stomach feels weird. I've never felt the pain in my stomach that I feel now. It feels like something inside of it is eating it from the inside out, and its traveling up my throat. I don't know how to explain it but just thinking about it makes me want to cry. It's preventing me from eating the food I would regularly eat. I've been so scared lately, and I don't really know what to do. Sometimes, I just want to go in a little pathetic corner and cry, but what good would that do? I don't want to feel bad for myself, because that's lame. Sometimes, I just want people to understand why I can't be as happy as I used to be. It's not like I'm a grump. It's just that I feel sick but I can't say anything. I just don't know what to do...

Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do

Well, I'm at loss of words on how to describe my day yesterday. At first I thought I was fine, but when they started putting in the IVs, I suddenly realized how scared and terrified I was. When they wheeled me into the operating room, I shook uncontrollably - yet again. This time, it was worse. This time, I felt nauseated and sick to my stomach about how nervous I was. I wanted them to just knock me out already so I wouldn't had had to deal with the sick feelings I was experiencing. Soon after, I was knocked out through IV and then everything was black.

I woke up an hour and 45 minutes later in the recovery room. I had all of these tubes and wires strapped up to me. Just like last time, my legs and body twitched and spasmed at an uncontrollable rate. I couldn't open my eyes yet, but I could hear the chatter between the nurse and my mom above me. My mom held my hand as she talked to the nurse about my spasms. The nurse told her it was uncommon and maybe it was my body's reaction to the anesthesia. I wanted to wake up and tell them that I was shaking and twitching before I was even put under (because of my nervousness). Eventually, I slowly forced my heavy eyelids open. My mom smiled at me as I tried to smile back. I told the nurse I felt really nauseated as she filled my IV with more medicine. My throat was as dry as before and I could still taste the tube in my throat. I cringed at the thought of it, but eventually drew away from the idea. After half an hour, they wheeled me back to the recovery recovery room or the "Surgi Center". They let me heal for a few hours and eventually helped me drink water. Before they sent me home, they tried to make sure I could keep liquid down. At around 6 pm, my parents and I had picked up my prescription from Longs and made our way home.

Throughout the night, my nausea and weakness got worse. I didn't know whether it had to do with the anesthesia or just the fact that I hadn't eaten anything in 12 hours. I tried to fall asleep at 8 pm, but I woke up at 9, feeling even worse. My mom helped me throughout the night by making me feel more comfortable. I tried to eat soup, but of course, I felt to sick to even bring the spoon up to my mouth. It was difficultto even sip water. After a long talk, my mom and I had finally decided to help me get to sleep. I fell asleep at 11:30 with my mom on my bedside holding my hand.

I woke up at 4 a.m., but went back to sleep. I woke up at 5 a.m. and told mom that I wanted to try to drink and eat. I felt substantially better as I took gulps out of my water cup. I munched and nibbled on a few soda crackers. Now, I'm trying to sip soup with a little rice. Of course I'm staying home from school today, considering it's already 7:49 in the morning.
The past day has been difficult, but what kept me going through all the discomfort and pain was the fact that no matter how painful it may be, every painful moment passes. No matter how long, the discomfort and pain will pass. Tough times never last, but tough people do. I kept that mindset with me the whole day. I had lost hope a few times during the most uncomfortable parts of the day, but tried to keep my head up high. The scale said I had dropped down to 76 pounds because I hadn't eaten for 24 hours. If I keep this up until Saturday, the doctor says he's going to admit me to the hospital.

Currently, I feel okay, except for this weird pain in my upper chest/lower throat. The only thing I'm stressed upon is catching up with all the schoolwork I had missed.

Thanks Mom....

Going to the Hospital... Wish me luck.. :)

The Story Behind Food Picture (See Sidebar)

Lately, my parents have been stressed. Mostly with me and my health. I've always felt bad for them. I've felt back about how they're always sacrificing so much of their time in order to accommodate my needs. They've been doing this ever since I was born, and even more so since I started showing signs of health problems. They've never ever given up on me, and I really love them for that. I've done some nice stuff for them here and there, but what I really want to do for them is make them a fancy and amazingly delicious dinner.

Their dinner will include:

Creamy Chicken and Sun Dried Tomato Fettucine and

Roasted Red Pepper and Feta Rice

Looks delicious?

I should probably stop putting up pictures of food, I'm just getting more and more hungry.

I guess I'll just post random stuff to get my mind off stuff.